Macam2 hal...

Masih bersedih lagi..tp ok la..kureng da ..mak ayah tak tnya byk sgt.sbb taknak aku stress (wpun aku mmg slalu stress pn lately ni..ntah bape bji pain killer aku amik sbb pale asik penin jek..owh..kna gi farmasi la today.stok pain killer da abis..huhu..)

Kes mcm putus cinta jek ni..sama parah la..huhu..sampai mak ckp dgn nabila..

"kakak ko tu agaknye kalo mak tanye dia pasal kawen msti dia stress gk cm skang ni..."

owh..adikku nabila da jadi cm private investigation aku skang.dia akan melaporkan kt aku cerita2  dr mak psl relationship aku dgn dak gomok.rase2 kdg2 ade gak tokok tambah cite tu.kepo gile la..haha..and setiap kali nk bercerita mesti mntk claim kt aku ala2 cm cite bujang lapok tu.."20 sen!!" tp minah ni kerek..ape barang 20 sen zaman skang ni.dia mntk mcm2..mls aku nk lyn.gi claim kt bakal abg ipar ko tu le...haha..(latest gue kena pau contact lense dgn t-shirt dr dia...kopak la daku..urghhh!!)

Pastu dgr berita dr Hajar psl Rayn..sian dia..hope she n her baby ok la..aku ala2 blur sebenarnye.sbbnye rs cm baru bape bulan Rayn tu preggie..prematured baby la tu.takpe2..prematured baby akan jd strong baby nnti..slalu la aku nngok kwn2 yg dpt baby prematured ni survive.InsyaAllah..aku tak call dia.taknk kacau dia.just bg msg jek...and she replied..lega rasenya..minah tu jenis tabah.Aku knal dia lama gk coz dia one of besties aku..

Mlm Raya Haji hajar n their gang ajak kuar.meraikan cikgu mimi..sorry mimi..tak dpt nk join.kite ade hal time tu..apapun hepi coz awk dpt pndh n stay dgn asben awk..bebila nnti if blk bp..ble le jmpe2 k..mimi kwn yoga aku..haha..takde pn aku kurus2 even da join yoga tu..huhu..

Then semalam sempat le hang out dgn M** jap..dia bwk adek dia..aku bwk adek aku..adek2 jd pemerhati cerita2 kami yek..haha..cm biasa..topik tmpt keje kiteorg mnjd topik hangat...dia dgr cite aku.aku dgr cite dia.Cite extend aku ni la kn..huhu..sedey2.then...jeng..jeng..jeng..rupenya cite dia lg sedey dr aku..and aku pn rs cm isk...OMG!!adus...and mule le rase cm not secure..

Dari dulu lg aku rs tak secure dgn keje aku..kalo org2 sekeliling igt gaji ku besor sgt..takde pn sbnrnye..tp apapun bersyukur gk la.at least ade gk le keje kn..status keje ku is sementara,and bile sementara of coz la kn bebila mse jek nk terminate kite.Aku akan jd permanent bile da ade Phd (yang nth bile aku ble dpt..master ni pn terkedek2 ok...hampir trsungkur gk la..slalu ckp dgn dri sndri..org lain ble buat..apsl aku tak ble?slalu sgt la..tp nk buek cmne..capability aku tak sme dgn org2 yg ble buat itu...)

M** jenis budak bijak n rajin.Kalo compare dgn aku..dia mmg lg ngetop la.Mude dr aku..but the way she thinks mmg matured la..lebih matured dr aku..hehe..Sgttt tabah..kwn2 sekeliling aku mmg jenis tabah2..salute la..and I dun think that if im in their position I can handle their probs...and betullah apa yang dikatakan di dalam Quran,Allah tidak akan menguji hambaNya melainkan dgn ujian2 yg sebenarnya mampu ditanggung oleh hambaNya..Wallahualam..

Teringat kata2 adikku..

"Korg smua bebudak pandai kot..apsal benda2 cmni jd kat korg??Kalo cm aku ni lain la..huhu...penatnya hidup ni.."

Errr..bab pandai memandai ni aku tak tau la kan..sbb aku bkn tergolong dr jenis tu.yg ku tau aku jenis slow learner..Tp determination n passion aku yg akan bg credit to me..Apapun sekuat mana pn kite berusaha..kite akan kembali kepada ketentuan takdir dr Allah.Dia yg berhak menentukan hidup kite.But that doesn't mean kite hanya perlu berserah sahaja..usaha tetap usaha..selebihnya kite biarkan Allah membantu kita..Makin byk ujian yg kite dpt..maksudnye kite adalah insan terpilih.Semuanya utk menguji tahap kesabaran dan keredhaan kite...Harap aku n M** berjaya menghadapi ujian tersebut. (wah..terasa sgt kagum dgn ayat saya hari ini..huhu)

Hmm..tp kdg2 terdetik gak di hati ini...apsal asik kite jek yg diduga..nngok org lain ok jek flow dia..yeke??nth ek..ni time setan2 saje nk kaco kite..sbnrnye aku rs org lain pn ade gk ujian2 dia..cume kite jek yg tak tau...masing2 ade prob diaorg sndri..da nama manusia kan..

lagi satu..is about rezeki..adik aku slalu rs down...belajar smpai masuk uni pn bkn ble jd kaya..kwn2 dia yg tak masuk uni plak yg jd kaya..mcm berjaya jek idupnye..senang lenang..da ade umah...da kawen..ade keta...aku??baru terhegeh2 nk cr keje pas study...nth keje kt mne nth nnti..nme jek engineer..tp..urghhhh..hampeh jek nnti..itu kalo dpt keje la..klo nganggur plak?cmne??isk..minah ni..suke tau pkir complicated..hmm..sbnrnye ape yg dia rs sme cm ape yg aku rs...tp biar la..itu smua bab rezki kn..kite berusaha jek la yek...

Teringat suggestion adikku..

"aku kalau ade anak nnti nk suh anak aku jd fesyen designer..stewardess..photographer..chef...katering ke..tak yah le amik course susah2 cm kite ni..doc ke..lecturer ke..engineer la sgt..blaja cm nk pecah pale sudahnya tak ke mana..tak pun jd cikgu..haha..senang..abis blaja jek trus jd cikgu..then cuti byk..gaji pn besor..lg besor dr ko kn kak??tak yah sbuk2 smbung blaja sbb nk dpt gaji besar..bile da lama keje..nnti dpt plak naik jd pengetua sekolah...pastu dpt JUSA..kejenya. handle student bebudak sekolah jek..cm ko da le kna ajar bebudak da besor..pastu kna lg wt research.takde life jek aku nngok.kalo cikgu..tanda2 soalan..ajar jek..then wt aktiviti utk student..pegi la lawatan tu..lawatan ni..lgpun aku nngok cikgu2 sekolah slalu dpt pkai keta besor2..lec aku pn skit jek pkai keta bmw.prof pn pkai altis jek.ni aku nngok cikgu sekolah ade gk da pkai altis,accord.. " 

haishhh..adikku ini..pkir nk sng jek kn..

Maaf yek cikgu2 sekalian..itu cume persepsi dr adekku yg blum tau lg kehidupan sbnr seorang manusia..

p/s: Org yg suke aniaya org mmg asik sng jek idupnye ek??

Action...shoot!!!

1st thing is..I have to call U**M

- Unit cuti belajar. They gave me opinions and suggestions..Thanks..If my dean ok..then they will just follow..(I will follow you~~)

- Kak Faridah (admin staf in my fac). She asked me to call Pn Hawa (Faculty's Registrar).

- Then, call my Head Dept.Tell him my problems.I have to email him in formal format and state the reasons why I need to extend my studies.

My option now:
- Back to work but with low loads of subject taught.Means that I have to 'to and fro' from Bp to U*M every week to do my lab works.sigh~~

- Got the extension period but have to duty report to U**M as soon as possible once I finished the lab works.(I prefer this.I don't want to be here anymore...help me..help!!)

The trick:
- If I get the extension period..I have to inform my beloved SV that U**M only gives me 2-3 months period of extension.So that she will not expand my project scope anymore..huhu..

The risks:
- If U**M don't approve my request.Then,1st option will be applied.(I understand.They are lack with task force now.Faculty only have 2 chem eng. holders to help them run the project..Im DEAD!!)

- Hopefully $$ is not the major problem.I will used my ASB for emergency cases (there goes my saving)..KPT will not sponsored me anymore for the extension period..my mistake..never mind..="(( (I don't want to burden my ayah. He also has to support my 2 sisters)

p/s: Hope that my soulmate understand my situation..really need it..

I am a student again.....urghhhh!!!

 Me: Dr, I have to purchased MSTFA for the GC test..the price is RM748.So is it ok with you?

Dr: (blurry face) is it important?

Me: (OMG!!She don't know the purpose??) Err...I need the solvent so that I can know the composition of  the permeate from the membrane.It will make the permeation evaporate and can be used in the GC...

Dr: Ok..then I agree with that price.Use Prof W's grant..but you have to ask from him.

Me: ( da agak da.....minah ni kedekut gile..suruh aku wat macam2 test tp duit taknak kuar..sian Prof..huhu) Means that I have to ask Prof first then if he agree then I will call the supplier..Is it??

Dr: Ok..Haa...regarding to your previous email..you have no choice...you have to extend your project.Or else u won't get your master...I am sure UTHM will understand it and allow you to extend...

Me: Err...(my heart beat faster..I am dead meat now)" ---->> theoretically..I am speechless...

*conversation end*

I'm blur..then went to surau and perform zuhur..(I am not crying...)

After that went to office..talk nicely to the office guy and ask Prof's phone number...He is very kind and call Prof directly from the office.I ask Prof about the chem. thingy, then story my problem to Prof.He also confused with my situation....huhu..

Back to my car then call Fit.She said Dr ok with her result.Say congrats to her..(how lucky she is...her rezeki's) Say sorry to me coz she also speechless when Dr. said like that to me..Then........my tears drop heavily..I called soulmate..with the crying tone..and...huhu....thanks dear for your support.Really appreciate it...

Drive my car back to college..pack my things and...zoooommmm...I want to go home now...huhu..with the tears still dropping ok..

p/s: Alhamdulillah..safe journey...Thanx God!!

Life must go on even it's suck!!!

Why life sucks???

Sometimes I feel that I am being treated unfairly..sigh~~

But life will become sucks if we look it in a different way..

No matter what..life must go on right? Sadness is just a part in our life..just a small part actually...

Stop crying..

Action should be taken now..

WAKE UP!!!!